Mistake

Mistake

Gosh its been so long.

Do you remember when I said,
When I get my car,
We'll spend time together?
We'll drive away,
And watch the stars.
We'll lay on a hill,
And watch the clouds.

But I messed up.
I wasn't strong enough.
I couldn't be the person I said I'd be.

And now,
Now I'm missing you.
I'm missing the time we spent together.
Long chats about nothing.
The late night phone calls.

God I miss it.
I haven't had such a conversation in such a long time.
But its all gone now.
You've gone your way.
I've gone mine.

Even though I messed up yours.
Just know,
I want the best for you.
And if you don't make your goals,
I don't make mine.
The goal:
To make everyone around happier.

But honestly,
I've done nothing but hurt people.
I've said the wrong things.
Threw fits for no reason.
Ripped on people that I was jealous about.
I ruined more relationships.
I disclosed information I shouldn't have.
I've grown apart in my relationships with my friends.

All of this kills me.
Because I want you all to know.
My friends are the most ridiculously important people to me.
But I think i'm ready.
I think i'm ready to change.
I think I can do it.

Maybe from here on out,
I'll make sure that,
stupid things like grades,
Don't interfere.
That I be stronger,
not only for me,
but for you.

I'm sorry for all the mistakes.
~hahasmile4me