Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Weird?

Weird?
Is it weird...
That when I don't talk to you,
I think about you?
Is it weird that,
When I don't see you for the whole day,
Your distant voice pierces the crowd,
And my heart pounds a little?
Is it weird that,
When I'm talking to other girls,
I get nervous?
Hoping that they won't tempt me away?
Is it weird that,
I'm afraid of what could be?
Or what won't be?
Is it weird that,
I hate myself for saying a lot,
And not being to back my words up?
That I can't actually promise anyone anything?
Is it weird that,
I'm afraid of our difference,
And I don't want to start something?
Is it weird that,
I want it,
Yet I don't?
Is it weird?

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Try My Best

Try My Best
My fellow Charles has spoken wise words,
"The reason you are so insecure all the time,
Is because you don't try your best,
You don't know HOW good you really are."
This is the truth.
All my life I've been afraid to go all in,
To try my best.
Stuck in the lows,
I think I "try,"
But really,
I give up too easily.
The second something is too hard,
I run away.
The second something I'm too tired,
I give up.
The second I'm afraid,
I get down on myself.
But how can I try my best,
If i've never done it before?
And how can I find time to try my best.
Every time I try,
I'm exhausted.
Everything I do because terribly exhausting.
HOW can I do it?
How will I find time to try my best?

Serious

Serious
Why so serious?
Why am I?
I take some playful jokes,
So seriously.
I take it personally,
I take it violently.
I feel like everyone is trying to get at me,
And if they are I can't do anything.
I'm helpless.
But why?
Why am I so serious?
Maybe it's just the internet.
Maybe it's because I don't really know their intentions.
Maybe it's because I really can't handle it.
I throw fits because I'm frustrated,
I become unreasonable,
I turn a silly joke,
Into something serious.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Win My Heart

Win My Heart
Broken between a few,
Broken between two.
A situation that I cannot control,
A place I don't want to be in,
I only can wait.
I only hope for one.
I only want one.
I can't handle more,
Nor can I give my all to both.
So win my heart.
Lay my anxiety to rest.
Let me give my best.
Win my heart.
I beg of it.

Relatable

Relatable
I'm usually right,
For the wrong reasons.
I take an accidental route,
To the right place.
But what do I do?
With this person,
I can describe my ideas and thoughts,
But have someone agrees,
But getting the same idea from a different path.
We have lots of talks about,
Well,
I don't even know.
Whatever comes up,
But it's almost never relevant.
But it's fun,
Interesting,
I'm involved.
I can actually do this,
With a solid amount of confidence.
Giving my opinion is the one thing I think I can do best.
She's well, relatable.
But now I'm broken.
But we'll see.
Time will help.
See if being relatable,
Can change me.

All Right

All Right
This girl,
She's got it all right.
School first.
I'm just,
Here.
I think about it all the time.
What am I feeling?
What am I going to do?
How can I make this stay?

I have to make much out of not much,
I fake wanting her to go,
I fake wanting her to go do her work,
But I'm here,
Hoping that she'll finish and talk to me.
Hoping that I'll finish my work,
so I can make time.
But I can't be selfish.
She's got it all right.
And I don't.