I Hate

I Hate
I hate it when I'm not good enough,
I hate it when I don't try hard enough,
I hate it when you don't think of me,
It's because I'm not good enough to you.
I think about you every day,
I think of you with every word I say,
But,
Do you do the same?
Without words of reassurance,
I hate myself for not trusting you,
I hate myself for not believing you,
I hate myself for,
Well,
Not being enough for you.
I hate when I can't be there for you,
And I hate myself for being so jealous.
I hate it.

Love?

Love?
I told myself I wouldn't fall,
Or fall to that extent.
I hope that I will saftely pick myself up,
Or see another person fallen with me,
So we can build from the roots.
I don't really know this feeling.
It feels unlike the first time.
It feels,
Different.
I really can't explain this feeling.
The thought of you,
In my mind,
Over and over,
With almost anything I do.
The replay of your soft skin,
Brushing on mine,
The want to just hold you,
And say I love you.
But I've been holding back,
These sensitive words,
Because I'm afraid it's premature.
But I think now might be the right time,
I can only hope you feel the same,
And I can only hope this will last forever.
Could this be,
The famous thing called love?

Heartache

Heartache
Have you felt it before?
I haven't,
Until now.
I think.
A pain in your chest,
A sudden weakness in your muscles,
A sudden sadness takes over your mind.
My breath draws quicker,
And more shallow.
I suddenly picture all the events,
All in vain?
I'm not sure.
I don't know what this feeling is.
But it's starting to hurt.
I hope this isn't heartache.

States

States
Tennis.
Four whole years,
All the drama,
All the hardwork,
All the money,
All the time,
All of it,
To this.
State champions with my friend,
Sam Brodkey.
WE WON.
WE WON OUR FLIGHT AT 2DUBS.
Our team was strong,
So we ultimately won as a team,
But to see my friends fight so hard,
And not have their individual titles,
Made me terribly sad,
Like when Yeon-woo fought so hard,
And lost,
He said: "avenge me."
I felt so bad,
But I did.
We helped secure this position so that,
All of us could have something.
Going out with a bang.
GO SENIORS OF 2012!
:D WE DID IT.
Tennis states.

When You Are Here

When You Are Here
When you are here,
Right next to me,
Talking to me,
Touching me,
It all feels right.
Your warmth flows to me,
Your eyes stick to me,
And I feel,
Well,
Good.
But when you turn away,
Or don't join me when I'm alone,
I just can't help but wonder,
If you shouldn't be with me.
If you should be with another,
But I don't know.
When you are with me,
I feel good.
I guess that is all I can ask for,
And be thankful for.
I just hope that you can be
Here with me.

Why Is It

Why Is It
Why is it that,
I'm always jealous of other guys?
And that I don't stack up?
Why is it that,
I never see that I might actually be good at something,
Or that I always see someone better?
Why is it that,
When I see you laughing,
I hurt a little?
Why is that,
When I see you have a good time,
It's always with someone else?
Why is it that,
Everything I do,
I'm scared?
Why is it that,
I feel so insecure?
So insecure that I never can do things,
I only imagine them.
Why is it that,
You've won my heart,
Yet I'm still trying to find ways,
To see how much you feel back?
Why is it that,
I'm just so scared and paranoid,
When nothing really bad happens?
Why is it?

If It Comes Down

If It Comes Down
If it comes down to it,
I want to take the blame,
I want to take the pain,
I want to be the one who's hurt.
From the first time,
I thought I had it all,
I thought that I was strong,
I thought that I'd never be wrong.
But I was very wrong.
It was I,
Andy Wu,
Who made it turn out this way,
It was me who broke it for the first time,
And it was me,
Lonely me,
Who cause all of those problems.
But I was young,
I was naive.
I can only hope that I've matured 4 years later.
I can only hope that I can control my emotions better,
I can only hope that this all goes well.
Make me strong,
Make me love,
Make me understand.
I don't want to hurt anyone,
I can't hurt someone so young,
So please,
If it comes down to it,
Give it all to me.